Beneath My Skin

1 year ago was when it all started. I would think that it was started on impulse, perhaps others would think otherwise. come to think of it, it was done without much planning, in a rather haphazard manner. without a proper start, one cant really expect much to come out of it. the effects of insufficient planning soon hit us. we had no idea who we were up against, what are the possibilities. closet plannning is really silly, looking back. targets were set, but till now we were nowhere close. unrealistic expectations, made realistic only by our own ignorance and fantasies.

maybe gotta thank Lady Luck, or maybe gotta thank me for being the Champion of the World, somehow, we managed to get on track. a little.. before more poor planning come back to haunt us again. underestimation of costs, frivolous expenditures, biting off more than what we could chew.. a bit too anxious, too impatient..

suddenly, a spate of problems started throwing themselves at us.. never rains but it pours.. people coming and leaving.. people who said they would come but never came.. people who wanted to leave but stayed on... people who wanted to stay but somehow left.. transitions after transitions...

perhaps the Tarot reader was right.. theres just some mysterious force that seem to steer us outta trouble.. whenever theres a problem, the solution always aint too far away.. may not be easy, but it is eventually attainable.. never had a situation occurred where no solutions could be found..

plunged to the lowest point 2-3 mth's back... effects of poor planning again.. seriously... fail to plan, plan to fail.. sometimes.. things cant be forced.. cannot means cannot.. a pebble is a pebble, if u insist that it becomes a turtle egg somehow, perhaps pple may try to convince themselves that the pebble may indeed be a turtle egg, but eventually, the turtle would not crawl outta the pebble. no1's fault, really... too immature, too impatient, too rash.. again..

miraculously, we bounced back again.. now its like things are brighter than before... irrelevant expenditures were cut greatly, not exactly by choice though.. still, it is rather tight.. in fact, more tight than ever before..

it seems like its bright, yet tinges of darknesses occasionally pops out behind the shade of brightness to make it seem not that great at all.. this sorta weird weather that u dunno if its considered a sunny day or a cloudy day.. perhaps its a sunny cloudy day.. at least its not a rainy day..