Beneath My Skin

it has been deluding him for the past few mths. so far sleep hasn't been too bad. not really getting insomnia as often now, occasionally he still manages to have undisturbed sleep though sometimes he would wake up at odd times in the middle of the night. but he has not got any nightmares. or dreams. for mths.

he wonders how his friends are doing at lalaland. it had been such a long time. he wished he could meet them to catch up, whether or not the situation over there had improved, or gone for the worse. no news is good news. so he is inclined to think on the positive side. even if the worst do happen, there is nothing he can do, unless he can get back in there. he can only wait. it is extremely stressful to wait, expecting an undesirable outcome. optimism would do him more good than anything else.

still, sometimes its inevitable. maybe they really are going through bad times, the worst that they had ever experienced. so bad that they had no means to get through to him for help.

he tossed and turned under his blanket. eventually, he shut out all thoughts from his mind, and let himself rest.



the next day began like any other day. he was on his daily routine, going on his way to work. the streets were unusually busy and everyone were gathering in groups, all muttering something to each other, as though there is a new hot topic to talk abt in town. wad else could be new and interesting in this world? elections? terrorists attacks again? earthquakes? he sniggered to himself. meaningless superficialities.

a little young girl walked past him, holding her mother's hand and licking on a lollipop. she was describing her dream to her mother in such enthusiasm.

'i saw donald duck and mickey mouse. they brought me to a candy palace and eat M&Ms from trees! they told me that im their princess!!'

'yes dear, but its a dream. candy dun grow on trees. u noe it dear.'

'its real. they told me its real! and they say they would bring me back there again!'

'alrite alrite. tell me abt it again when u get back there okay?'


the little young girl has dreams. she had been there. people are still going there. at least thats a good sign, he thought to himself. '...its a dream...' the mother's words stayed for a moment in his mind. yeah. so what if its a dream? cant a dream be real? what makes this world more real than the dream world? sigh. ignorance is bliss. choosing to disbelieve is never a bad choice.

if only he can convince himself that skepticism is the logical and rational way to think of dreams. he knows he cant because he had been through it. as he was thinking about this, something furry took his hand. he turned and saw a rabbit!

'Balbus! goodness gracious! how did u come here???'

'lets go somewhere.'


the rabbit scurried into a small alley and he followed. they entered a small house and went into one of the rooms.

'Joe.. it's been a while.. '

'Balbus, wads going on? if u are here, wad abt the rest? and are those pple coming too?'

'its a matter of time before all of them finds out. candies from trees are already melting over there.. ice cream sometimes now melt on sunny days. some times we cant do certain things even when we imagine very hard that we could do them.. its no longer the same'

'why is this the case?'

'cos no1 believes now. they think that their dreams are not real. even when they are dreaming, they think they are not real. when they come over here, their skepticism is especially draining for us. when there is no more clear line between us and them, every1 wil have to suffer the consequence. by then they would know not even know that we are real. when the Nightmares enter the waking world and run havoc, it would just reinforce their impression that dreams arent real and are a waste of time.'

when people dream, it is not just a flicker of thought going through the brain when they are sleeping, though most people now think so. every1 is living in the world, be it in the waking world or the dream. the distinction could be made because the balance is maintained whenever someone goes into the dream and fully believes in it, and in the process enjoy themselves with the people there. if the balance is upset, the distinction would slowly become nothing. most people go into dreams now not fully enjoying them, some even to the extent of thinking that its a waste of their sleeping time and want to get out of the dream as soon as possible. little do they know that they are doing themselves a disfavour. if the people of lalaland cannot convince the dreamer that they are experiencing something real, the lifeforce that keeps lalaland going would slowly drain away.

now, it was made known to him that the consequence of that is the gradual extinction of lalaland altogether. the people of lalaland would soon have to cross over to the waking world. and those other people, those of the Nightmares, would follow. Right into the waking world. and people would experience the Nightmares while in the waking. When the time comes, it would be a sad thing indeed.

when lalaland disappears, the common people's idea that dreams are not real would be true. it would indeed be that dreams are non-existent. and everyone would stop having dreams altogether. the good things would never happen again, not in their sleep. bad things would come again and again, after the Nightmares fully infiltrate the waking world.

if everyone was like the little girl, if they believed in their dreams, lalaland would not be drained of her life like it is fast becoming now. Everyone believes dreams at the start. just that when they grow old, they think that dreams are for children. Children are always so happy because they believe in their dreams.


'Balbus. i have been trying to get over to see u all but to no avail.'

'maybe u know too much. the laws of nature are all made known to u and so they intend to shut u out of this game.'

'y dint u all bring me in then? i can help. getting one more person who believes in lalaland is better than getting a whole load of skeptics!'

'u believe because u knew. u din believe because u wanted to believe. wad makes u so different from the skeptics anyway? u cant fool Mother Nature. maybe u would be like them if u din know. u cant be of much help anyway. we would be better off getting people who might have a chance of believing in us.'

'so wads ur purpose here?'

'soon there would be no difference between here and there anymore. might as well come here earlier. soon i may not even be able to speak in a language u can understand. when lalaland disappears, everyone in lalaland would become what u people here expect us to be.'