Goodbye Mountain
He turns his back and starts walking away. What is going on in his mind? Doesn’t he want to reach the summit anymore? Probably not. But why not? The first-ever taste of success he got when he reached the first milestone, the dreams, hopes and aspirations that he once harboured, the view at the top of the summit… Don’t they mean anything?
Perhaps they do. Afterall, those were all that he ever cared about for a long time. Other things that were supposedly important as well were pushed to the back of his mind. He knew that had he not stayed focus, he would not even be where he is now. But all these come at a price. A price that he thought was probably too expensive to pay. Now it comes a point where all that he ever cared about don’t matter anymore.
He doesn’t care if he is ever gonna reach the summit. He doesn’t care if millions of people would die to see the panoramic view at the top. He doesn’t care about any of that anymore.
No doubt there are attachments. It is indeed painful to abandon his team mates just like that. To some extent, he might even be letting them down. He did not fulfill the promises he made, and had even misled them into thinking that he would be with them till the end. To make himself feel better, he can possibly continue living a lie. He can tell himself that he still want all of those that he had wanted in the past. He can tell himself that it is something he really wants to do. He had tried. For a while. But it is not easy living a lie. He chose to give that up.
Yes. He chose the easy way out. He threw in the towel. He recalled the times when his teammates were feeling down and out and wanted to give up as well. He was the one who encouraged them. He remembered the countless occasions when he managed to escape death with many strokes of luck. The sense of achievement was overwhelming, and sometimes addictive.
But he realized that he cannot live a lie. He cannot assume the hopes and dreams of everyone else and treat them as though they were his own. He tried that before, but he failed miserably. All he can do now is to wish his team mates all the best.