Beneath My Skin

He had to shut it out from his mind. Inaction and passiveness would only carry him this far. It was the end of the road. Chances and opportunities are not gifts that Santa Claus gives out everyday. If this myth was real, it would occur at best only once a year. One could wait for Christmas, but he certainly could not expect Christmas to come on anytime of the year other than 25 December. Nevertheless, people loved to wait for things like that to happen. Though at the back of the mind they know the chance of it occurring is probably as low as spotting a green elephant crossing the road, they somehow think that it is still a realistic chance. Maybe that is why people like to buy lottery tickets. Choosing to ignore the extremely probable outcome that they would win nothing, they put their hope on the most unlikely outcome.

Perhaps this is the way people work. After all, what would life be without hope? What would life be without fairy tales, fantasy stories, sweet romantic dreams and tales with perfect wonderful endings? That was the best way he could comfort himself. Indeed, it sounded convincing enough to tell himself that it was not just another excuse.

He laid on his bed and prepared to sleep. He tossed and turned, occasionally sitting up for a while before lying back down again. Was it insomnia? Surely it was not too traumatic for him to sleep? Maybe it was. He knew that he accidentally shed a tear or two when he was under the blanket. Why was he doing this? He could not understand. Surely what happened was definitely not a good thing, but surely he should not be bothered by it? He asked himself if he was affected. His mind told him no. No. He was not affected. It was just one of those things in life that did not happen as he would wish.

He shut his eyes again. Soon, he found them open. Why could he not sleep? Irritation began to set in. It was clearly affecting him. He did no know why but all of a sudden he was feeling down. Down. Down. Down. Down in the dumps. He felt like crying. He sat up, holding the pillow near his face. Tears began to start flowing. Yes. He was sad. He cold not get it off his mind.

He started imagining Lydia in his mind. Lydia and him. Things they did together. Some of which were real. Some were his fantasies. It was supposed to be saddening, but somehow, it felt good. It was not entirely good, but it was not bad either. Like a smoker addicted to cigarettes, he seemed to be hooked on these thoughts.

It took him quite a long while before he got off those thoughts. He must be out of his mind. How could he allow himself to think that way? His vulnerability could not be exposed. He was the alpha male. He was an impregnable fortress, a bastion that could not be broken into. Such weak thoughts were so uncharacteristic of him. It was simply ridiculous.

Unknowingly, he was already lying on the bed snoring. How silly. How much could pride be worth? He might have thought that his pride was worth almost his life. But still sometimes, he could fall into such lapses.

Well, maybe he could do something for him. He could work a little over time. Sometimes he wondered if he was too lazy. Alright. He would work over time. Too much time off could get boring sometimes.

Did he sleep well last night? A slight neck ache, other than that it should be pretty fine. He got out of his bed and went to take his usual morning stroll in the park. After the walk, he should feel more awake and ready for the next day’s work. He dragged his feet lazily on the pathway, yawning occasionally. Something at the corner of his eye caught his attention. What in the blue hell was that? He rubbed his eyes again. What he saw was simply out of this world. At the far end of the road some distances away, he saw a GREEN ELEPHANT. What on earth is a GREEN ELEPHANT doing here? Wait a minute. Do green elephants exist? Oh my god. As if seeing a green elephant was not ridiculous enough, the next thing he saw was the green elephant CROSSING THE ROAD! Absolutely absurd. He wanted to run over and take a closer look, but the next moment he looked up, the green elephant had disappeared.

The green elephant certainly made him completely wide awake. He was ready to go to work. He hurried back home, took a shower, and rushed off to work.

Monday blues again. What else could be worse than work? He knew that it was useless complaining because everyone else was also trapped in this wretched lifeless life there. Just when he decided to take a short break from work, he received an SMS from his handphone. It was Lydia. She had broken up with that guy and she wanted to meet him for dinner to talk. Not a good thing to be happy about that someone broke up, but he still felt happy. He scowled at his own evil thoughts.

The SMS had lifted his spirits. He was extremely productive at work and his manager was amazed at his efficiency. When he worked fast, time seemed to pass so quickly that he did not notice it. It was time to knock off. He rushed down to the meeting place. Lydia was already there. They talked a lot during dinner. After that, they went for a stroll in the park. Soon, Lydia was in his arms.

The alarm buzzed. Freak!! He got woken up rudely from his sleep. Argh. Another idiotic dream. He thought that he needed some medicine to clear his mind of such ridiculous thoughts. It was making a mockery out of himself. He washed up and went for his usual morning stroll.

A bunch of kids were playing noisily at a corner of the park. Irritating kids. He hated kids. They should be responsible for a large proportion of the world’s noise pollution. He frowned as he was walking past them. One of them was drawing a picture. It was a green elephant. Incensed, he went up to him and told him that he got the colour wrong. The bunch of kids all laughed at him. He stormed off angrily. Kids are also one of the most stupid living things on earth, he thought to himself.

His day unfolded just like any other day, each daily routine leading to the next, till it was knockoff time. He received an SMS. It was Lydia. He scratched his head. It was the same SMS he got in his dream. And dinner was perfect, just like the dream. And they went for a stroll in the park too.

‘Hey, look at that in the sky!’ Lydia exclaimed. He looked up. It was a shooting star. A rare sight indeed.

Up there above the clouds, on the shooting star, Santa Claus was riding on his reindeer. Sometimes working over time is indeed not bad. After all Christmas is still many months away. One should not just wait for Christmas.